You Want to Fix it? Start by Listening
Everybody Wants to Be the Fixer. Few Want to Listen First.
Let’s be honest.
When we see pain, struggle, or injustice, our first instinct is often to jump into action. We want to solve the problem. We want to be the one who shows up with the answer, the hero, the helper.
But here’s the uncomfortable truth:
You can’t fix what you don’t understand.
And you won’t understand if you don’t listen first.
In the rush to do something, we forget to hear the people who’ve lived it. We forget that those closest to the problem often have the deepest insight into the solution.
If you really want to make a difference, if you want to do it right, start by listening.
Listening Is More Than Being Quiet
Let’s be clear: listening isn’t just about not talking.
It’s about humbling yourself long enough to realize you don’t know it all.
It’s about:
Putting your ego aside
Asking real questions without trying to control the answer
Being okay with the fact that someone else’s experience might challenge your worldview
Being willing to sit in discomfort without rushing to “fix” it
Listening is an act of respect. It’s an act of restoration. And it’s where real change begins.
When We Don’t Listen, We Cause Harm Even With Good Intentions
How many programs, policies, or charitable efforts have failed because no one stopped to ask the people being “helped” what they actually needed?
We build shelters with rules that retraumatize people.
We design food programs without asking about allergies or culture.
We roll out reforms from ivory towers with no input from the people in the trenches.
That’s not service. That’s saviorism.
And saviorism doesn’t solve — it silences.
Real Listening Changes Everything
When you listen, you learn things you never would have imagined:
That someone may not need housing — they may need healing first.
That your “great idea” has been tried before — and flopped.
That what feels urgent to you isn’t what feels urgent to them.
That trauma, mistrust, or cultural barriers shape how people show up.
That sometimes, the best way to help is to step back and let others lead.
Listening builds trust. Trust builds power. Power creates change that lasts.
How to Practice Real Listening
Want to become a better listener in this work? Here’s where to start:
1. Check Your Motives
Are you listening to respond, or to understand?
2. Create Safe Spaces
People speak more honestly when they don’t feel judged or tokenized.
3. Don’t Fill the Silence
Sometimes people need time to find their words. Let the silence sit.
4. Amplify, Don’t Hijack
If someone shares their story, don’t make it about you. Use your platform to elevate their voice.
5. Center Lived Experience
No degree, title, or donation replaces lived experience. Respect it. Follow it.
Listening Is the Most Radical Tool We Have
We live in a world that praises loud voices, fast decisions, and hot takes. But sometimes, the most radical, rebellious, and restorative thing you can do is slow down and listen.
Because when you listen:
People feel seen.
Solutions become clearer.
The work gets deeper.
The harm gets smaller.
The change becomes real.
You want to fix it?
Start by listening.
Everything else flows from there.
